Ive been slacking on this for a while...will be posting more data when my finals are over. i am in the middle of my final week of performing don't know how i feel about this. after becoming a presence in the space and taking on this habit it is ingrained in me....I'm going to miss it when its over.

so much has happened the past few months i have realized more about my self and about my surroundings through this process....i am becoming aware of my own aesthetics and thought processes more so than i ever have in the past. Ive gotten everything from praise to harsh criticism, endearment and indifference. I'm realizing that being a person engaged in the world is not easy. the only way i can protect myself is to stay isolated, but There is no fun in that. i appreciate vulnerability, i love all the awkward moments of eye contact when i know that there is a change in a persons perspective and daily thought process by my simple presence in that space which they are negotiating with.... people commuting on their way through the business of life, become conscience of me looking at them and themselves in their activities....

its really weird i love this whole process. i have met many people through this experience, some strangers are far to curious to walk away without answers so they approach. and that's when it gets interesting....this thought of social contact being both a positive and negative thing is manifest in my knitting...my time keeping....for every person who comes to talk their presence is recorded on my material. i have been critiqued on the conceptual aspect of my work which i do think that i need to hone in on but the real art the real work is the social interaction. all the looks...people asking themselves what the hell is this girl doing sitting in this walk way staring into the crowds? my stance is rather aggressive and i can tell that some are threatened by my presence, i try to balance my voyeurism with the docile activity of knitting i think it helps take a bit of the edge off this performance of people watching....well see what happens next... this is only the beginning....

vulnerability:

adjective

1.

capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon: a vulnerable part of the body.

2.

open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.: an argument vulnerable to refutation; He is vulnerable to bribery.

3.

(of a place) open to assault; difficult to defend: a vulnerable bridge.

 

 

ussually when i hear this word i feel strongly that it is a bad thing i dont like finding myself in that position, i have to be in control.

through this social experiment i have realized that i am not the only one who is vulnerable in the situation, the people who decide to come up to me (a complete stranger) are making themselves vulnerable too, and in that place of vulnerability we meet. 

i have developed quite a few relationships through the development of this experiment. i was invited by one of my new friends to the persian new year celebration where i made more friends. i love this process, its amazing how people interact and respond to me.  

noticing how crazy our society is, and how out of touch we have become with reality. i don't know what to make of it....

Every week is different. some busier than others. Several days i sit in silence, no one talks to me....i have begun reflecting back on previous work on homeless people and the indignation i have for those who are not acknowledged. My own desire to be known amuses me, this emotion has not been so apparent till now.

I was forced to change my location because an ASI official decided I was blocking the walk way. Big disappointed: i was in such a great spot, there is so much foot traffic. Now i am only 50 yards away but its not the same. Trying to get in contact with the other officials and see if i can have my spot back.

wondering what the hell im doing,....

 just to clarify: this performance im doing is about the unexpected interaction with the people i come in contact with. its not about knitting....maybe i should do some other activity.....

we pride ourselves on multi tasking, walking blindly from one place to another completely consumed with our technology. what if the music was turned off and we looked up to be aware of our surroundings?       

some of my friends and acquaintances pass by oblivious that a fellow person whom they share life with is just a foot away. i love that tension that the experience makes me feel. i sit passively and watch it all play out. i contemplate my own interaction with the world. what have i missed? who have i been too busy to acknowledge?